Dreaming In The City Of Mud (2020)

image from Radium Arena

INTRODUCTION

I turned 40 on the 22nd this month… 5 years ago. 

I had read somewhere many years back about this random individual who decided to have a solo exhibition of her paintings as a gift to herself for turning 40. It was nothing unusual really but for some strange reason this simple gesture of self-appreciation stuck with me over the years. Following that, I had planned something, without a clear idea of what it was, to mark the 4th decade of my existence but it did not materialize as there were other pressing matters that had to be attended to then. In a blink of an eye, 5 years have since passed where much had transpired in between. It was in the midst of putting together something as a belated birthday gift to myself that I noticed, whether in my writings or songs, the city was the foreground or the background to the stories, situations or circumstances both real and inspired. I came to the conclusion that perhaps the best gift to oneself is to acknowledge and pay tribute to the peoples and places that has shaped and contributed to one’s becoming (or undoing!).    

Kuala Lumpur, the nation’s capital that was built on foundations of mud, is the dreamers’ Shangri La and the fortune seekers’ El Dorado. I remember even when I was a kid, I looked forward to the almost 2-hour long traffic journey from Cheras to downtown KL, a place of wonder and excitement. When the opportunity came, I grabbed at the chance to move from the suburbs into the heart of the capital with a friend from university in my mid-20s. However, with a degree in fine art and limited practical skills, I was set to join the growing ranks of the unemployed. I could not turn to art for survival as I was not driven or commercial minded. The part time lecturing jobs ended when the fine art programs closed. I turned to writing, of which I received no training, out of desperation. Luckily, there were generous and supportive souls who were willing to give my amateurish efforts a chance which helped to supplement my livelihood somewhat in addition to other minor sources of income in those days of struggle and strive. Admittedly, writing continues to be difficult for me even till this day. As words do not come easy and my grasp of the language is slightly above rudimentary, it remains frustratingly tedious and time consuming. Yet my thoughts and feelings now encapsulated in these pages were the results of an act of desperation on my part many years ago.  

‘Dreaming in the City of Mud’ collects portions of writings carefully culled and stitched together from a handful of paid assignments and commissioned write ups for a few artist friends and exhibitions into a long essay of my observations and reflections on society and life. Included here are the original version of a requiem for a friend and what was intended as a curator’s essay for an exhibition catalog (unpublished) in 2010 which has been revised a few times, especially its conclusion to reflect my current outlook on work. 

Indeed, there is no reason for this other than an acknowledgement that a random individual such as myself exists while giving homage to the city and its people that has made my life interesting.  

Tan Sei Hon 

March 22 2020

KL DREAMING.

These city streets, the stories that they tell, be it heaven or hell, depends on the choices we make, the chances we take and the price we’re willing to pay in our pursuit of the good life. 

For someone who has lived close to the historical and even seedier parts of the city for almost 20 years now, there are indeed many tales to be told about life in this expanding metropolis. This concrete jungle with its ever-changing urban landscape is the backdrop and witness to the countless becoming, unfolding and undoing of its inhabitants. Some were born here though many came from all over the country and abroad with hopes, dreams and desires to be fulfilled. They came looking for the good life.…

The trouble with living is that you have to make a living, and living for many in the city is a daily struggle just to earn that few extra declining Ringgit. 

On this jam-packed train like sardines in a can, some looking out of these smudged windows lost in their thoughts while others dumb down theirs, mindlessly immersed in their ‘smart’ phones as the faulty, creaky train makes its way, hesitatingly from station to station. Standing here shoulder to shoulder with the rest of the everyday people, one is hard pressed to detect genuine signs of life from their blank stares, their bored countenance punctuated by a frequent but irrational need to check, swipe and update their status on their latest hand held gadgets as they go through their daily motions on the way to that place where they exchange their labour and surrender their time for a month’s (or more) wages to buy these gadgets while also trying to keep a roof over their head and the creditors at bay. The locals complained that they’re underpaid though in a country of millions only a few percent of the population are engaged in something significant or deemed worthy enough to be taxed. On the other hand, the foreign workers came mostly as cheap labour to be employed in the service, plantation, manufacturing, construction and sex industries with the handful of expatriate head hunted as experts and specialists in highly technical fields that the country is still unable to produce in sufficient numbers even after decades of costly and politicized government funded education. 

The city streets are crowded from early mornings till late evenings with sleep walking day dreamers sashaying down imaginary runways parading their branded (usually European) goods or cheap local knock offs. Their eyes fixated on the screens of the latest gadget while bobbing their heads to a background of catchy corporate jingles augmented by danceable beats that subliminally, in a series of steady rhythms, knocks into our heads the idea that capitalism is freedom to pursue the profit motive at the expense of all else in order to achieve the ‘Good Life’. One is made to hear the many ‘glad tidings’ aired incessantly throughout the mainstream media such as testimonials from satisfied customers of the ‘wonders’ the religion of consumerism can do for the soul! These scripted claims and false promises were designed to placate and lull us into a perpetual state of delirious stupor to keep us manageable and ever dependent on the merchants and the powers that be. 

In fact, the ultimate goal is to empty us of all that messy, irrational, critical aspects of our humanity while motivating us to spend and consume for some gigantic corporations’ profit...indefinitely.  

The shops, showrooms, boutiques, departmental stores and the web are where we offload our hard earned to materialize our indoctrinated visions of the good life. Though only small amounts of money are required for daily essentials to feed our needs, staggering sums are wasted just to satisfy our manufactured wants. 

The buying and selling do not subside even as evening descends. A different kind of crowd throngs the filthy street corners and dirty back lanes for a different kind of transaction, where sellers peddled all kinds of forbidden services to satiate a buyer’s natural and unnatural urges.  

The city is abuzz with life and activities and only sleeps for an hour or less (4am) before coming back to life again (4.30am). Prominent features of this centre of commerce are the endless billboards, neon signs, banners and other visual electronic screamers shrieking for attention. The young (and the young at heart) and the excitable are initially bedazzled and impressed with the city’s surrounding spectacle of light, colors and sound. However, when their senses grow numb from the constant cacophonous barrage, many would wake up, usually years later, deaf with disillusionment or blind with cynicism, to the fact that all that din and flashes of lights were nothing more than advertisements and propaganda to tease, titillate and persuade us to part with our hard earned. The glitzy cycle of sales pitching continues with the voices and faces of older narrators and actors now replaced with new ones who enthusiastically rehash the same old trite scripts with new catchphrases or sound bites accompanied by newly commissioned jingles and updated spectacles to bedazzle and impress a whole new generation of would-be dispirited cynics with their sequels, prequels and reboots of a brand, a product, a service or a political promise.

The city is also a strange place where one rub shoulders or share spaces with millions of strangers daily and still feel at home. On the subways, stations, buses, the trains and even in restaurants, we feign indifference or automatically offer the standard courteous nod or smile, while at waiting rooms or especially in cabs, we engage in casual conversations about everything in general and nothing in particular.

And how many of us feel a sense of pride to see, while commuting around in buses, trains and cars, the growing number of banks, corporations, insurance companies, hotels, malls and luxury condominiums looming high on each side, at the corners and intersections. Never mind that their sudden presence has erased local histories and communities, caused many small businesses to collapse, raised property prices exponentially and forced the original inhabitants to relocate to other areas further from the city centre. Only a handful of the country’s population actually work and lived in such places while the rest of us have no business to be there in light of the growing wealth gap. The number of poor are the strongest indictment that a country has not done enough to elevate the wellbeing of its citizens, thus the governments and the mercantile classes are of the opinion that there is a ‘need’ to introduce ‘more’ progress and development as logical steps to ‘combat’ poverty and ‘elevate’ standards of living. Should we feel justified when the powers that be bulldoze and level the homes of urban squatters, ‘illegal’ villages and makeshift abodes of the hardcore poor with the excuse that they’re ‘in the way of progress’ just so some crony developers can build more roads and highways, pedestrian bridges to shopping malls, high end apartments and condominiums and what not on the prime land these people have been sitting on for generations? Should we feel a tinge of nationalistic pride when the powers that be cites the ‘shame and humiliation’ felt to be reminded of our subjugation under colonial yoke as reasons to replace colonial era buildings with new ones, usually some convoluted chimaera pigeonholes masquerading as some swanky post-post-modern architecture that barely disguises the monstrous intents and appetites of the neo-liberals behind it who are now the neo-colonialists working hand in glove with the current establishments just as the previous ones did hundreds of years ago to milk the masses and mine the land? 

The debt ridden, the bankrupts, the destitute and the burnt-out quitters grudgingly resign themselves to a life that is deemed less than ideal to the ones promoted in colourful catalogues, glossy magazines or on the electronic screens which they grew up reading, watching and fantasized about. Many would conveniently place the blame for their misfortunes on the ‘incompetent’ establishments (which they themselves voted to power) for not managing the country, its security and the economy well or the greedy transnational corporations run by those ‘blond haired’, ‘slant eyes’ and the ‘hooked noses’ for screwing up things, forgetting that it was/is/are the same governments past and present that have allowed these corporations to set up shop in the first place so that jobs could be created to arrest the simmering discontent among the many unemployed youth and (to be honest unemployable) graduates churned out from more than a dozen degree mills operating throughout the country. What about the proletarian and the peasants? Many would also irrationally blame their own low stations in life and missed opportunities on foreign workers for taking away from them what they presumptuously perceived to be low paying 3D jobs (dirty, dangerous and demeaning) which they and their children shun as beneath them in their pursuit of the good life anyway. 

And what is this ‘good life’ that was promised us by each competing political parties jostling for power to govern and gain? What is this ‘good life’ that our family and friends religiously prayed, worked and hoped for all their lives? What is this ‘good’ life that is incessantly promoted or alluded to by the political administrators of the day, the religious institutions and the corporations? 

However, everything has a price to pay. Indeed, each of us has a price, depending on how low the competition is selling theirs.

As I’m writing this, I hear the Muslim’s hourly call to prayers through the loud speaker of a nearby surau and the sirens of a dozen or so ambulances intermittently throughout the day trying to manoeuvre their way in one of the most congested parts of the city to the capital’s main hospital. Both have a sense of urgency, the former being a loud reminder to drop everything else one is currently doing and fulfil one’s obligation to the Almighty for the sake of one’s soul while the latter frantically imploring others to speedily make way for the sake of saving a few lives. However, for the everyday people, the business of life and making a living goes on as usual. They’ve come to accept with resignation that the more things change, the more they remain the same. “Same shit, different day” as they say. Come Monday mornings, as they commute by trains or buses packed like sardines (or KFC poultry) to the daily grind, they turn off their anger and tune out their resentment with the major and petty transgressions both real and imaginary and go through the motions till payday.

These city streets, the stories that they tell, be it heaven or hell, depends on the choices we make, the chances we take and the price we’re willing to pay in our pursuit of the ‘GOOD LIFE’. 

WRESTLING IN THE MUD (Thoughts after the 14th GE or Here we go again!).

Though having access to great natural resources, this society was able to build first world infrastructures and provide reasonably good amenities that oil money can buy, its people however were for years believed to be regressing back to superstition, mediocrity and apathy, all adversative in meeting today’s fast paced global challenges. Hovering above these circumstances are the amoral hedonists in power who wear the masks of liberalism without a committed policy of liberalization while liberally benefiting their relations and over generously rewarding their cronies and supporters to the detriment of the country’s economic well being. While the discontentment felt by the masses are real, they were exploited by competing self and class interests and have now convoluted into a so-called clash of communal rights and spiritual values. The political mouthpieces from the ruling and opposition quarters too have joined in the chorus of distortion, shouting themselves hoarse, playing their roles to a hilt, to stupefy, electrify and pacify. All the debris and residue from these struggles however portend the impending socio-political or cultural meltdown of sorts. In actuality decay has set in, disintegration soon to follow, the telltale signs were already there for all to see but no one was around except for those one-eyed little napoleons and mini dowagers counting their petty losses and undeserved gains while the rest of the population went happily to the malls dressed up as unpaid walking talking advertising boards blindsided by conspicuous consumption. Their inexcusable ignorance of the transgressions of their surroundings, their blind obedience to the diktats, as if they are holy writs, issued through the mealy-mouthpieces of the unpopular ruling classes on a daily basis and their hearty acceptance of the gerrymandering by the same regime to cling to power only underscores the insignificance with which they hold their own lives and others, a simplistic view of life whereby its ultimate aim is to maximize profits and heighten pleasures while avoiding pain and hardship at all costs, to be unburdened on others when possible, has allowed crimes from the subtle and concealed to the most brazen to continue unchecked. Perhaps we are living in the ‘end times’, where cunning flatterers are elevated, all manner of buffoonery celebrated as ingenuity and mediocrity rewarded while knowledge, wisdom, diligence and honesty are sidelined, vilified or worse, punished. 

Manipulations of emotions, false accusations and unsubstantiated claims made by these forces from various quarters bent on continuing or trying to establish a totalitarian grip on our thoughts, bodies and actions, it is obvious realpolitik is behind all the highly charged sandiwara to sway the sentiments and focus of the masses away from the many chronic economic quagmires currently besetting the country as a result of unchecked corruption, unregulated wastage, questionable patronages etc. The growing number of political careerists operating behind facades of piousness and uprightness issuing daily religious sounding injunctions or promoting openly vile racial bigotry with impunity against other fellow pretenders in a move to either maintain the status quo or to erect new ones has brought with it ridiculous ramifications that could tear the social fabric of society and create disorder in the country if left to fester. These opportunistic and sanctimonious public figures from both sides (and their contemptible supporters) race to outdo each other with their clownish antics and hateful rhetoric, enthusiastically making bigger ‘mole hills out of ant hills’ that serve to inflame, divide (and entrench) the people of this country along religious, ethnic and cultural lines in an ‘us versus them’ zero sum game instead of addressing national issues which concerns all our wellbeing, namely the economy, security, health, education, affordable housing, efficient public transportation and amenities, poverty, the environment, etc.  

CAUGHT BETWEEN FORCED UNIFORMITY AND UNCONSCIOUS CONFORMITY.

It can be deduced that the peoples of this fairly sophisticated multicultural society are struggling to make sense, negotiate and reconcile two opposing forces, that of “tradition” and “modernity”, terms that have become increasingly discordant and challenged in a post historical setting. It is not a good place to be when one is trapped between the existing but untenable state-crony capitalist system and a groundswell for a form of theocratic fascist regime. With the call for power to be either concentrated fully in the hands of a party of insatiable businessmen or a party of race hustlers and their counterparts the infallible “holy” men, a middle or third force is needed more than ever to serve as check and balance or a viable alternative to this imbroglio (but who will pay for it?). 

Malaysians in general, though sociable and quick to smile, easily becomes anxious, suspicious and defensive when reacting to certain issues, especially played up by politicians including those from the establishment through their media mouth pieces for political expediency or to score political brownie points among its supporters. Of course, such expected sentiments from sections of society did not develop overnight. It took years to plant the seeds of mistrust, doubt and fear into generations of Malaysians through education, national policies and the media especially regarding areas deemed sensitive or off limits for rational discussion. To ensure that the status quo remain unchallenged, that certain discourses continue to be under the control of those with vested interests, an artificial climate of fear is created and maintained so that the general population is kept constantly at a heightened state of distress and disquietude. Being ill at ease and on guard all the time from imaginary threats, supplied by a steady stream of fake news and false testimonies, one becomes easy prey for manipulation and coercion, acting or responding to a situation that benefits the puppet masters. Such efforts at mind control on a mass scale over the years have the negative effects of turning individuals in society into passive aggressive narcissists. Under a façade of normalcy, these neurotics would go through the motions with imaginary chips on their shoulders yet strangely, they are unable to put a finger on the root causes of their dis-ease or frustrations other than pointing fingers at others. This psychological defence mechanism, which is a form of denial, leads to a persecution complex (when they are the ones doing the persecuting) even when presented with evidences to the contrary. They begin to project onto others their irrational fears with the most toxic being feelings of envy and resentment masquerading as righteous indignation at perceived injustices on a social and personal level.   

Growing up in a largely multiracial society, most Malaysians were exposed to the practices and outlooks of their neighbours at a very young age who differs from us in some ways but who are also connected to us in many others. The most visible and delightful cross-cultural influences are to be found in our cuisine. Certain customs and values too are held in common by Malaysians regardless of ethnicity and beliefs for exp etiquette, courtesy and respect for one another, sympathy and charity for the less fortunate, the sickly and the elderly. Though Malaysia has its share of race hustlers, hate mongers and peddlers of prejudice trying their best to inflame a situation or cause unrest for racial, political or religious reasons, Malaysians generally are not prone to acts of violence or extremism, in fact our ‘Tak Apa’ attitude sees us being highly tolerant of each other’s perceived shortcomings, even vices. Our diversity is our strength, so much so that even though a National Cultural Policy has been in place for decades, it was not actively forced upon the general population, especially those not from the dominant culture, unlike the situation in other countries in south east Asia. 

One may see it as a comment on the racial homogeneity or forced uniformity usually imposed by traditional and totalitarian societies, like the ones in George Orwell (1903-1950)’s novel ‘1984’ where all forms of individuality are suppressed while thoughts are regulated to focus on the preservation of the collective and the ruling establishment. In our case, perhaps Aldous Huxley (1894-1963)’s tour de force ‘Brave New World’ could be a more apt reference to describe our contemporary condition. There was a survey carried out a few years back which found that many of the younger generation of Malaysians to be the least driven, lacking curiosity and unmotivated with no clear direction or purpose in life when compared to other youths in south east Asia. Is our general passivity or pessimism the results of well-intentioned policies made decades ago meant to achieve an ideal that is today no longer tenable? 

Instead of reflecting the challenges of a fast-changing world, were the ‘spectacles’ manufactured by those with vested interests with its banal, political and fantasy driven content made with the intent to placate, distract and blind side us from seeing and addressing real time problems of alienation and discontent? 

Ignorance on our part is not bliss, but a presumptuous indifference to the mind-boggling complexities behind even the simplest phenomenon in nature while a little knowledge can be dangerous thing only when it is gained with the intention of subduing everything and subordinating everyone around us to our whims, fancies and desires. The frightening scenario that follows will be that of ‘the one-eyed man (or woman) in the kingdom of the blind’. One of the many thought-provoking lines from ‘The Society of the Spectacle’ originally written in 1968 by Guy Debord (1931-1994) is that the ‘Spectacle is the sun that never sets over the empire of modern passivity’. Never has there been so many so eager to surrender their autonomy to those ever ready to exploit and profit from our ignorance and irresponsibility while we waste our precious time oscillating between vanity and vacuity or feelings of self-loathing and entitlement. Pleasure seeking and hungry for attention with a very short attention span, we’ve become a generation obsessed with popular, consumerist and celebrity culture instead of a way of life that is grounded in the ‘Reality Principle’. Dismissing the past while discounting the future, we who are stuck perpetually in the present while looking stylish and bored like billboard models or boutique shop mannequins, are perfectly contented to put back on our shades and continue to stare at an artificial representation of the sun that never rises or sets. 

THE NO-WHERE-ISMS OF THE UTOPIAN IDEALISTS.  

What all the ‘isms’ have in common with each other are their lofty aims of establishing a society, by hook or crook, based on Utopian or Golden Age ideals that exists only in myths (both ancient and modern) and fairy tales. I termed all the adherents and propagators of such ‘isms’ as Utopian Idealists. 

In these ‘perfect’ societies, there is peace, prosperity, efficiency and the welfare of the less fortunate are taken care of. There is great progress made in the sciences and the arts, and the people are of high morals, responsible, healthy and happy. Each inhabitant is ‘ennobled’ by the values sanctioned and promoted by the authorities, usually a council of wise men (and women), ensuring their obedience to the system that claims to serve their best interests in this life and the after. Everything is perfect, or almost. Since they are living in the most ideal or perfect society, following the most ideal and perfect system, they are perfectly contented (or should be). Hence there is no longer the need to strive and struggle (and the lessons that one may profit from it). They live happily ever after.... forever. 

This perfect “feel good” ending to an ideal life can only be found in children’s fairy tales, romantic comedies and political propaganda. 

The problem is, for such a society to exist and function accordingly to those ideals, it can only be achieved at the expense of one’s individuality and humanity. Think, is it any wonder that, in any initial efforts of establishing an ideal society anywhere based on a certain value system or ideology, conformity, uniformity and blind loyalty must first be inculcated, either by coercion or punishment. Those who do not subscribe or are in the opposition are the first to be targeted for condemnation, indoctrination or worse, extermination. Any differences that contradict, casts doubt or challenges the claims of validity and supremacy by the would-be imposers are not tolerated and must be banished. Without these obstacles, the smooth and wide implementation of those systems of values or ideologies can now be possible and complete. In the end, whatever the values or ideologies, we will end up with a totalitarian society made up of what Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900) called ‘Last Man’. The ‘Last Man’ embodies the following qualities namely conformity, normality and security. The numbers of these ‘Last Man’ types are growing in our society. They have without hesitation surrendered their rights and responsibilities to the Utopian idealists who only regard them as useful idiots, cash cows and cannon fodder. These Utopian Idealists whisper sweet nothings into our ears, arousing the deepest desires of our hearts as they pull the wool over our eyes and tighten the leash around our necks. The next thing we know, we are already prostrating on all fours getting screwed. To keep us dependent, they terrorize us with their fear mongering propaganda. We are being constantly goaded to take sides or pushed to a corner until we capitulate to whichever causes they deemed profitable to them in their never-ending political games of chess, snakes and ladders and monopoly.

Woe to those who still believe they could release themselves from the shackles, bell-collared leashes and nose rings that already many among us so proudly shake and jiggle to announce our complicity, akin to puppets on strings. We may heave a sigh, complain and whine when being pulled, pushed and jerked around by our Dalang(s) but the alternative, which is having complete freedom and responsibility is unthinkable and unbearable, like aforementioned puppets losing their strings. Ultimately, what all Utopian Idealists seek are numbers to subscribe, justify and impose their illusions of perfection. But history has since time and again shown us the ironic finale of all totalitarian value systems, which has the highest numbers of people being led like cattle to the slaughter or like lemmings off the cliff.

How does one maintain equilibrium when one’s surroundings conspire to distract, frustrate and dictate one’s behaviour and way of life? How does one maintain composure and balance when there are forces beyond our control that gang up to pull the wool from our eyes and the rug from under our feet? The gradual loss of autonomy and the desperate struggles against capitulating to the physically stifling and soul asphyxiating social and political ‘walls’ being systematically constructed around us by the powers that be, is enough to trigger either our ‘dark sides’ or to give into despair. Instead of capitulating to either, one’s individuality, freedom, hopes and dreams must be kept alive through any and all forms of resistance, however minor or deemed insignificant. This refusal to give in and be enclosed by the walls of other people’s dogma, expectations and realities frees us to think and act rationally, thereby living in the present in ways that is accurate and true to life and ourselves. How can that not be better than the Idealist (a person who is guided more by ideals than by practical considerations) who peddles Utopia (an imagined place or state of things in which everything is perfect)?  

So, whenever a Utopian Idealist tries to proselytize the truth and superiority of their faith to you, ask them these three questions by Thomas Sowell- 1) Compared to what? 2) At what cost? 3) What hard evidence do you have?  

WHY WE DO THE THINGS WE DO (And then we die).

That we continuously find ourselves mired in many but not unavoidable conundrums of our own doing are very much due to our self-serving takes on reality and unrealistic expectations of how things should or ought to be. Our happiness becomes fleeting and momentary while our dissatisfaction and displeasure becomes persistently present and craving appeasement, putting us constantly in a deep state of dis-ease. To the observers of human behavior, no matter how we try to conceal our puerile selves behind a facade of rationality, refinement or wisdom, we are each privately, a strange mélange of restless drives and complexes driven by insatiable animal appetites with a perverse sense of curiosity that needs be distracted or sublimated by activities carried out of pleasure, as penance or for profit. It would not be an exaggeration to conclude that humanity is a repressed walking, talking libido bloated from existential indigestion that sought meaning in labor, leisure and rituals as a means to avoid the soul crushing tyranny of boredom and the endless pondering about the purpose or the purposelessness of existence.

Such situation illustrates the point that when we act from a place of deep-seated insecurity, wanting to control or own something, it is invariably accompanied by an irrational fear of losing it as well. When another person or party has the same intentions as ours, the stage is set for endless conflicts to follow. Our insatiable need to consume depletes limited resources and generates endless wastes. The online dictionary for the word ‘consumption’ means a) the action of using up resources and b) a wasting disease. It is ironic, since the more we want, the more we lose. The constant need to consume (to eat, own or use) things is a sign of neurosis, of trying to compensate a deep loss on an emotional or psychological level. It could be anxiety, a sense of worthlessness or soul crushing boredom due to a lack of recognition, appreciation or existential meaning. 

What then is to be done? 

It is our binary mode of perceiving reality (yes/no, either/or, win/lose) that is the chief cause of our confusion, discontentment and despair. When our surroundings are driven by values that conspire to make us feel lesser if we do not aim ‘higher’, aspire to be ‘better’ or to have ‘greater’ number of things, information or experiences than others, these values also have the propensity to make us feel ‘sadder’ than others as well. Should we expect a tar pit or a cesspool at the end of the rainbow instead of the proverbial pot of gold? Again, we are falling back into that pattern of thinking in dichotomies, ‘either/or’, ‘yes/no’, ‘win/lose’ instead of just marveling quietly at the rainbow for its own sake before its brief reappearance again after the next storm. Does it not make sense that if we were to think and act with little or no expectations and interests, we will not be (too) disappointed. Since we did not claim ownership over anything in the first place, there is nothing to lose at all.

Of course, it is easier said than done. Hence our predicament.  

The attitude best adopted in such a situation is that of a pedestrian who walks at a leisurely pace over a zebra crossing, with its alternating black and white strips representing the ebb and flow of life while being mindful but unaffected by the crowd coming and going from both ends of the crossing as they each make their way ‘to the other side’.